The popularity of dating apps over the last decade has drastically changed how men and women interact.

There’s a lot less in-person contact, and we’re worse off for it.

The Surgeon General’s recommendation this summer that social media sites start posting warnings is not just a protection for children. It’s a shot across the bow of all social media companies.

Dating apps are a form of social media, and adults on dating sites experience many of the same damaging psychological effects. Teens who use TikTok and Instagram experienced loneliness, depression, and anxiety, at much higher rates.

What’s more, there are serious questions about the effectiveness of these apps. In a 2023 Pew Research found that only 10% of those either married or in a long-term relationship met their partner on a dating app.

That’s not very high.

You would think that with so many people using them, a greater percentage of committed couples would have met there.

The fact is, dating sites, ironically, can be a difficult place to even get a date.

Conversely, men who approach women in person enjoy a huge amount of success.

And the science proves it.

A 2010 study (Hald & Olesen) reveals how relatively simple the process can be.

The researchers asked assistants of average attractiveness to introduce themselves to strangers in public by saying, “Hi, my name is _____. I am sorry to disturb you like this, but I have been noticing you around and find you very attractive.”

The assistants then asked, “Would you go on a date with me tonight or during the week?”

43% of single women agreed.

Are you surprised by that number?

I was.

The assistants varied their requests and also asked, “Would you come over to my place tonight or during the week?” 21% said yes.

They also asked, “Would you go to bed with me tonight or during the week?” Not surprisingly, 0% said yes.

But the results from the first request were eye-opening.

What do they mean?

Approaching women in real life gets results.

You have close to a 50-50 chance she’ll say yes.

That’s way better than a dating site!

What were the key variables in the study?

The men were polite and performed the requests in a safe, public location.

That’s not hard, is it?

People often make a big deal out of approaching a stranger, which is understandable. You’re risking rejection, which, if you’re not a risk-taker, can be hard.

But the payoff is huge.

So the next question is, why aren’t you doing more of this?

Do you really want to meet someone or not?