One of the first blogs I ever wrote was titled “20-Seconds of Insane Courage”.  The blog title came from the movie “We Bought a Zoo”.  Matt Damon’s character describes the moment he summoned the courage to approach his eventual wife and all he needed was 20-seconds of insane courage to pull it off.

It’s been over two-years since I wrote that blog and I have come to learn that 20-seconds is way too long.  If you wait that long, you will invariably find an excuse not to approach.

The approach time you should be shooting for?

Instantaneous.

You see a beautiful woman and you’re off.

Thinking is your worst enemy.

Reacting, like a reflex, is the goal.

Now, unless you’re experienced at this, you’re not there yet.

But you can get there.

Reducing your approach time comes as you gain more confidence.

Wanna know how to gain more confidence?

Make more approaches.

Right now my approach time is about 5 seconds but I know I can do better.

And so can you.

There is no silver bullet to this process – no magic formula.

Reading a book won’t help you.

Is this topic making you uncomfortable just reading this?

That’s ok.  I’m equally uncomfortable writing about it.

And that’s the point.

This is uncomfortable for all guys.

And that discomfort may never totally go away.

Approaching a woman takes courage – insane courage. 

Doing something you know will be painful, and doing it anyway?

That’s heroic stuff.

Think how proud you will feel when you do it.

Don’t wait.

You can do this.

Leave a Comment