I find it interesting how dating websites instruct men on overcoming approach anxiety. “Make eye contact. Stand up straight. Approach from an angle and not head on.” They give you lists of things to do without addressing the primary issue – how do you work up the courage to do it?
Here’s what I suggest. Keep it simple.
The most important thing to do with your approach is, actually make an approach.
I can’t tell you how many times I have talked myself out of approaching a woman. “She has her head phones on. She is with friends.” You name, I’ve done it.
But of the times I actually followed through, there was one common theme – courage. I just took a breath and went for it.
There is a great scene from the movie “We Bought a Zoo” – 20 seconds of insane courage – that illustrates this point. Check it out.
Approaching a woman you don’t know is right up there on the fear meter with public speaking. I’m sure you’re aware, people rank their fear of public speaking above their fear of death. That’s what we’re dealing with here.
When it comes to fear, there is really just one way to respond to it – Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. This is actually a great book by Susan Jeffers. I highly recommend it.
I will be covering “approaches” in more detail in subsequent blog posts but for now, there’s only one thing to keep in mind – just do it. As Matt Damon’s character suggests – all it takes is 20-seconds of insane courage to walk on over.