It’s a valid question and one I’ve pondered more than once.
Dating app addiction is real and those who use them should be wary of the spell they cast.
Here are the warning signs of addiction:
- You spend more than an hour a day on the app
- Your self-esteem is tied to your success or failure on the app
- You feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster
Apps are tricky.
They seem innocent enough. They’re even fun at times. And they hold the promise of finding love.
But in reality, they are the same as any other social media.
You get a hit of dopamine when someone likes you.
You get it again when you match with them.
But along with those highs, come lows.
You can go from hopefulness to excitement to confusion and then heartbreak in less than a day.
That’s not healthy!
And yet we willingly go back to this tool with renewed hope that it will be better in the next round.
Listen, some people do find their person on dating apps.
But it’s not a high number.
Match.com did a study in 2017 and found that 5% of people in a committed relationship said they met their significant other online.
You should be aware of that if you’re devoting significant time to swiping.
There’s more.
One third of people on dating apps say they’ve never even gone on a date with someone they’ve met through an app.
What does that tell you?
It tells me that dating apps are a tough place to meet someone, despite how easy it may appear on the surface.
And men appear to be more fixated on apps than women.
Also, from the Match.com study – men were 97% more likely than women to be addicted.
There are tons of data out there about the negative effects of social media on people – feelings of alienation, irritability, division – and dating apps are no different.
They have changed the way we relate to each other.
I see it in myself.
I am quicker to judge. I feel stressed while having multiple conversations simultaneously.
Dating is supposed to be about getting to know someone and having fun and then seeing if things develop.
Now it’s a job interview.
And dating apps are a big reason why.
If you think you’re addicted to an app, do yourself a favor.
Take a month off.
Do a dating detox.
I know, you’re going to feel a void –
but remember, it’s a fake out.
The real void you’re feeling is loneliness.
And a dating app is only covering that up.
If you’re like most, it’s not fixing the problem.
