Ever since I saw it on a Seinfeld episode, I have wondered about this idea – that men are afraid of women.

Is this a thing?

Are men really afraid of women?  And if so, does it affect us in our ability to approach and pursue women?

Not really.

Like the Seinfeld clip, it appears to surface only when the guy knows the woman and has had enough time to experience her anger.

It’s a woman’s expression of anger or the possibility of that expression that stirs up fear in men.

But why?

A lot of it is societal.  Women are socialized not to express anger.

When they do, it’s unfamiliar and can feel threatening to us.

We’re afraid of disapproval.

We feel responsible for a woman’s well-being.

We’re uncomfortable with expression of strong feelings.

We feel emotionally inadequate.

It’s the last two that are particularly concerning.

Men are not socialized to experience feelings.  That’s for women, right?

Wrong.

Men are at a huge disadvantage when in a relationship.  Women have years of experience feeling anger, sadness, joy!

Men do not.

And when we’re in a relationship with a woman who expresses these emotions, particularly anger, it can feel overwhelming.

And intimidating.

It’s ok to acknowledge, at least to yourself, that you might be afraid of certain women.

But take it a step further.

In addition to acknowledging it, work on it.

There’s a good chance our issues in relationships are tied to this one issue – our inability to experience emotions and because of this, we do some crazy stuff – being overly controlling, cheating, overdrinking – you name it.

We look to other, often destructive, things so we don’t have to feel.

And it’s screwing up our relationships.

Are you tired of feeling out of control?

Schedule a free call and I’ll show you another way.

 

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