Even the oldest of dogs can learn new tricks. 

After years of online dating and, of course, my share of rejections, I decided to try something new.

Usually when a woman tells me she’s not interested, I leave it alone.

I’ll say something along the lines of, “No problem.  Good luck.”

After all, a few texts and a phone call are not enough for me to pursue an explanation.

Or are they?

After a recent string of rejections, I wondered if I was doing something wrong.

So last week when I was confronted with another blow off, I was determined to find out why.

It had been two days since my last text to her and still no response.

“I’m getting the sense you saw something in my profile you didn’t like”, I wrote.

“If that’s the case, can you tell me what it was?”

I expected either no response or something I’ve heard before like “You don’t have kids.”

But it was neither.

She actually took the time to tell me.

“Your pictures looked too good”.

“Huh?”

She explained – “they weren’t natural or authentic” (I had a photographer take them). 

This was a first. 

I usually get compliments on my photos, so I wrote it off as one woman’s opinion. 

There’s a ton of reasons why a woman won’t like you and if you barely know her, it’s usually not worth your effort to pursue why.

But if the rejections have been piling up, there’s value in getting feedback, particularly about your profile or how you interacted with her. 

Occasionally you can get insights you can use.

I didn’t, but it was liberating, nonetheless.

I had been tempted to ask women in the past but never did so.

I thought it would be easier on my ego not to know but my mind filled in the blank and that didn’t help either.

And that’s the point of all this.

Our minds make up all kinds of things.  They make situations mean things that have no basis in fact.

That can have a compounding effect on you and really mess with your head.

In my case, I told myself it was because I didn’t have kids.

That’s my default.

What’s yours?

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