This week I decided to end my subscription to a dating site – for good.

It’s just not working for me anymore.

And while the thought of cutting off my most consistent stream of available women was scary, I felt a sense of relief as well.

The prospect of using the time (and headspace), normally devoted to online dating, for other interests, was exciting.

Dating in general is an active pursuit, particularly for guys.

We have to be the pursuer, right?

And because of this, we’re constantly on the lookout, whether it’s intentional or not.

Seeing an attractive woman in a store is enough to turn our head.

And then, off goes our mind to what could be.

It’s exhausting – to always be looking, chasing…doing.

Aren’t we in action enough?

Between work, family and daily life – we’re constantly heading somewhere and measuring ourselves by what we accomplish.

Does it have to be this way when trying to meet someone too?

In his song, Beautiful Boy, John Lennon wrote, “Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans”.

It is a reminder to enjoy the moment, to “be” in the present.

And it’s a good reminder for us around dating.

Instead of actively searching for someone, maybe it’s time to focus on yourself and what makes you happy.

You might be pleasantly surprised at who you find.


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