If you’re an introvert like me you hate chit chat.

Talking about the weather, the route you took to the party, the renovations your friend is doing on his home– all this – can be brutal.

Some people, usually extroverts, love this kind of banter.  For others, mainly introverts, we need more substantial conversation to feel engaged.

But chit chat or small talk is often the social lubricant used when interacting in public.  It’s just the way it is.  If you want to get good at meeting women, you’ll need to be at least competent at it.

Here are some tips.

Make it about her.

Most people like to talk about themselves so get good at asking open-ended questions.  Instead of “How are you?”, try “What are you looking forward to doing this summer?”

Next, listen to her response.

Seems obvious right?

Unfortunately, most guys become preoccupied with what to say next. They lose track of what she just said and the conversation falters.  Trust that you’ll know how to respond.  If you pay attention, it should be easy.

Finally – respond.

If you listen closely, you will hear something that either triggers a memory for you – “You’ll love the Outer Banks.  I went sailing down there every summer with my dad.” – or intrigues you to ask more questions – “I heard the Outer Banks is beautiful.  What will you be doing while you’re down there?”

Ask questions, listen and respond – that’s chit chat.

While it seems like you have to submit to a conversational style you don’t like, the good news is this formula gives you the power to veer off into deeper conversation once you’ve been chit chatting for a while.

Chit chat doesn’t have to feel like a dead end.

Get good at it and you can use it to your advantage.

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