If we could pinpoint just one trait that, more than any other, had the most power to attract women, it would be confidence.

No trait captures a woman’s attention more, yet it is probably the most elusive feeling for a man to sustain.

Contrary to popular belief, confidence is not something you’re born with.

Those you’ve observed with it, particularly at a young age, had it instilled in them (usually by their father).

Others developed it early on by virtue of a naturally adventurous spirit.

And right there is one of the keys to developing confidence – risk taking.

Those who are natural risk takers build their confidence through a process.

They try something. 

They fail. 

They try it again.

And again.

They keep going until they reach their goal.

The process of overcoming repeated obstacles is what emboldens them for future success.  They believe the next thing is doable because they just proved themselves capable.

Then with each success their belief grows.

That’s the first part of confidence building.  Now let’s talk about the second piece.

Courage.

You might be thinking, “Well, I know how to take a risk (it’s an action) but how do I get courage, which is more of a feeling?”

Here’s how.

You’re willing to feel any emotion.

Huh?

I’ll say it again. 

You’re willing to feel any emotion.

Maybe now you’re thinking, “No problem.  Everyone knows how to feel things.”

Not true.

We know how to feel the positive emotions.  The negative ones?

Not so much.

That’s why we overeat, overdrink, over-social media – just fill in the blank – whatever you do to distract yourself from feeling negative emotions.

Boredom, anxiety, fear, loneliness – these are some of the negative feelings we try not to feel.

What would happen if you could feel all these negative emotions?

You could conquer the world!

I mean it.

The reason we don’t do the things we need to do to be happy is because of the negative feelings we expect to feel when we do them.

If you could feel embarrassment and take action anyway, what couldn’t you do?

If you could feel fear and still keep going, how would your life be different?

If you want to have more confidence, you’ll need to take more risks and, I know this sounds counterintuitive, fail more.

And you’ll need to start feeling things, especially the negative stuff.

I’m here to help with both, but especially the second one.

Unfortunately, no one teaches us how to feel negative feelings as kids.

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