In my last post I wrote about the mental aspect of confidence but there’s more.

There’s the action piece.

Maintaining the right head space will only get you so far.

Real confidence is built by setting big goals for yourself then overcoming the inevitable adversity that follows.

Here’s how it works.

Make a commitment to yourself.  Feel afraid because it’s pretty daunting.  Use courage to overcome that fear.  Start taking action on a new and bigger goal.

The result from all of this is greater capability.  That increased capability generates more confidence.

Make sense?

Here’s an example.  I set a goal to talk to 10 women this week.  I do it but I’m scared the whole time and I get rejected like crazy. 

Next week my new goal is to talk to 20 women.  Same thing.  Lots of fear.  Lots of rejection.

But now I’ve talked to 30 women!  And even gotten a couple of dates out of it.

I’ve built a ton of resilience within myself.  Now I don’t sweat the rejection like I used to.  I don’t stumble as much during my openers. 

I’m getting better!

And more confident!

I step up my goal again the following week and now I want the adversity!

That’s what’s making me better.

And more confident.

Got it?

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