Confidence is a skill.

While you consider that and ponder whether you agree or not, let me say it again. 

Confidence is a skill – a mental skill.

Contrary to popular belief, it is not something that some people just have and others don’t.

It is a discipline.

It is a conscious decision to choose empowering thoughts over self-doubt. 

Have you ever thought about where your confidence really comes from?

Another misconception: “Once I get more experience, I’ll be more confident.”

So if you want to be confident about your dribbling skills, how many times will you have to dribble a basketball in order to feel confident about it? 

10,000 times?


It’s not the number of times you dribble.  It’s what you think about the number of times you dribbled.   

See the difference?

Two guys can dribble a ball 100,000 times each.  One guy can come away thinking, “I’m awesome.”  The other guy might come away thinking, “I have a long way to go.”

A lot of clients come to me with the belief, “I can’t talk to women.”

This is how the dialogue will go.

“Really?  So you’ve never talked to your mom or your sisters or female co-workers?”

“That’s different”


“I know them already”

“But wasn’t there a time with each of them, when you didn’t know them?”

“I guess”

“So what’s different?”

“I’m attracted to the women I want to approach”

“Why does that matter?”

“I get nervous”

“Good.  Why are you nervous?”

“Because I’m afraid she won’t like me”

“And how has that thinking served you?”

“Not very well”

“What would you rather be thinking?”

“That I’m awesome.  And that I can get her.”

“So why not think that?”

You see how this works?

The fact is, you’re not born with confidence.  It can come once you do something many times but it’s the belief that you can do it – your thoughts shifting – that drives the confidence.

It comes from you choosing confident thoughts over thoughts of self-doubt. 

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