“I don’t feel a connection with you”
Have you heard this before?
Sometimes this is an issue of two people not being a good match – their interests and values just don’t line up.
But other times it’s because the relationship doesn’t go to a deeper level.
When a woman talks about connection, she’s talking about an emotional connection.
That means she needs to feel safe around you – comfortable to tell you personal and intimate details about herself.
She also needs to be able show her emotions and not be judged or made to feel wrong when she does.
If you can’t convey openness and a willingness to really hear her, her walls will go up.
And that’s that.
But here’s the thing.
We have the same needs.
The difference is we don’t verbalize them as much. We may not even understand them.
Women tend to be more attuned to their emotions than we are.
But both people need to feel safe in the relationship in order for closeness to develop.
Where does all this come from?
We’re all hardwired with an intrinsic need for belonging – a sense that we’re accepted.
It’s really important that you get good at building a connection with someone – it’s hard for a relationship to grow without it.