Did you ever notice how you feel comfortable talking with certain people but not others?

Did you have more in common?

Was the other person a good listener?

What was it?

Chances are the other person had a similar conversation style as you. 

There are three primary styles:

  • Question askers – navigate conversations by asking questions, getting responses, asking more questions, and hoping they will get a question in return so they can talk about themselves as well. They will listen to shared stories but won’t openly share their own.
  • Open sharers – will choose topics about their own lives to share and hope the other person will do the same. They will answer questions but won’t ask any of their own.
  • Those who can do both

Engaging with someone of a different style can be difficult.

If you’re a question asker, an open sharer can come across as self-centered.

If you’re an open sharer, a question asker can come across as an interrogator.

Most people can do both but lean toward one style.

To have a fruitful conversation, it helps to be aware of your dominant style and to work on your subordinate style.

If you’re a question asker, devote more time in conversation talking about yourself, telling stories and initiating conversation without asking a question.

If you’re an open sharer, be more curious about the other person and start conversations with questions that spring from that curiosity.

What’s your conversation style?

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