Yes, it’s actually a “thing”.

Spending excessive time on dating apps can leave you tired, irritable, dissatisfied and yes, even hopeless.

Probably not what you signed up for, right?

It’s important to remember that dating apps are not very different from social media.

They both promise some type of connection with others but often leave you feeling more alone than when we started.

There is an “illusion of plentifulness” with these apps.  We join thinking they will deliver a relationship but in reality they provide only a “feeling of possibility”, which of course, keeps us coming back for more.

There’s a great article in The Atlantic that describes the challenges with dating apps.  One of them is the “paradox of choice” – the idea that having all these options in front of us seems good at first but are actually counter-productive.

With all this choice, it’s hard to decide on one person and once you do, there’s an increased risk of feeling dissatisfied, in part because you think there are still better options out there.

Dating apps are an efficient way of dating but not a very effective one.  A 2016 study revealed 49% of those who message a match never get a response.  Since men initiate contact approximately 79% of the time, that’s a lot of rejection for men.

My recommendation?

Take a break from your dating app(s) periodically.

Try and go a week or two without dipping in. 

It’s a great way to clear your head and get some perspective from this tricky medium.

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