One of the frequent complaints I hear most from clients is the difficulty they have dealing with the highs and lows of dating, something I call dating ping pong.

One minute you’re on a high after getting a “like” on a dating app and the next minute, you’re bummed out after you get no response to your text.

Bouncing back and forth between these different moods is exhausting and leads to dating burnout.

But fear not, such a situation can be managed and overcome.

Most guys think that “things” are being done to them.

“She rejected me.  That’s why I feel like crap.”

Do you relate to this kind of talk?

We believe that the events in our life are the drivers of our emotional state.

But that’s not how it works.

If a woman rejects you, it wasn’t her rejection that made you feel sad or angry.

It was what you made that rejection mean.

Do you see the difference?

If you think the rejection means you’re unlovable, it’s that thought – “I’m unlovable” – that is driving your feelings.

But here’s the good news –

You can change that thought any time you want.

“We weren’t a match.”

That’s a totally different kind of thought that is going to create a very different type of feeling, maybe disappointment.

But it won’t cut as deep as “I’m unlovable”. 

And that’s the good news.

You can think something different and thus feel different.

In that same scenario, you could even think something uplifting like, “My next girlfriend is around the corner.”

You can avoid the ups and downs of dating by spending a little more time managing your thoughts.

We were never taught this stuff growing up but it’s never too late to start.

Do so and you’ll have a much smoother dating experience.

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