I was fascinated to learn that with the explosion of dating apps over the years, a whole new language has emerged along with them.

Most of us know about ghosting (disappearing without warning) but what about “submarining”?  That’s disappearing suddenly only to reemerge at a later date.

Do you know what “bread crumbing” is?  That’s maintaining her interest by throwing out the occasional text but never taking it further.

There’s “stashing” – hiding her from friends and family.

“Cushioning” is lining up other partners as insurance in case your primary relationship doesn’t work out.

What’s the common theme here?

They’re pretty crappy behaviors.

No doubt.

What else?

They are elaborate compensating behaviors.

There is nothing genuine, for instance, about bread crumbing or stashing.

But they are ways of keeping a woman around who you’re not interested in.

So why go through all that work?

Do you not want to be alone?

Is it easier to keep someone around you’re lukewarm on than to really go after “your person”?

Are you settling because you don’t feel you deserve better?

This is not about condemning the behavior – most of us are guilty of one or more of these.

It’s more important to understand why you’re acting this way.

Think about it for a minute.

And be real with yourself.

What’s your reason?



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