If you’ve ever been referred to as “nice”, you’re probably cringing at this title.

Because chances are it wasn’t the only time you’ve been called that.

It’s more likely you’ve heard this repeatedly, particularly from women, and you didn’t take it as a compliment.

As a “nice guy” myself, I can relate. 

Woman will say they’re looking for a nice guy but here’s the catch – you can’t be too nice.

It’s an important distinction because it’s not that women don’t appreciate or respect a good guy. 

They do.

They just don’t want a guy who is defined by their niceness.

And this is where all nice guys need to stop and look in the mirror.

Ask yourself, “Why AM I so nice?”

Because trust me.  It’s not a good thing.

And it’s not just because women put you in the friend zone.

There is a phoniness to guys who are too nice.

For many, their niceness was created long ago, most likely as a child and usually as a way to get attention, be accepted or loved.

But it has no place in the adult world.

Sure, be nice when it’s appropriate.

But don’t use it as a way to get approval. 

That’s you still acting like a little boy.

One reason why overly nice guys are not respected is because they’re not manifesting all the parts of their personality.

If you’ve struggled with this, it’s probably because there are other parts of you – strong, charming, maybe even dominant aspects of yourself that remain dormant.

But they’re there.

There have been a bunch of studies on this – women don’t want men who are too nice or too jerky.  They want someone in between – assertive but kind.

So, if you’re asking yourself “Which one should I be?”, you’re asking the wrong question.

What you should be asking is, “How can I be a more balanced man?” 

“How can I access these other parts of myself?”

That’s the work.

And I will tell you something else – you can’t do it alone.

That’s what a Life Coach is for.

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