This is a tough one, right?

Not being in a relationship during the holidays seems to magnify our “singlehood”.

Long stretches during the year with no companionship are tolerable but being alone between Thanksgiving and New Year’s?

Forget about it.  Brutal.

Nothing made me feel more alone than going to parties and family events solo while everyone else was with someone.

But the biggest part of my unhappiness came from the thought that I SHOULD be with someone and even worse, that I was lacking in some way because I was not.

But this was all a trip I laid on myself.

I created a myth that everyone else was happy, sitting around a fire with their kids, sipping hot chocolate, opening presents and showering each other with love.

First, I realized that’s not necessarily true and second, I realized love starts with me.

It was not helping to yearn for love from someone who wasn’t there.

What would help was if I could generate more love for myself.

I decided to actually enjoy the time I was spending with myself.

I let go of the sympathy I thought everyone was feeling for me and just did my own thing.

I pampered myself – got a massage, watched old movies and bought MYSELF some presents.

It’s ok to feel lonely during the holidays.

Our unhappiness does not necessarily come from being alone but rather what we choose to believe about being alone.

That was my experience of loneliness during the holidays.

What’s yours?

What fake beliefs are you holding on to about the holidays?

And what are you making those beliefs mean about yourself?

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