For most men, learning the art of flirting is like finding the Holy Grail.  Once you have mastered it, you’ve achieved dating immortality.

Okay, that’s a little strong but the general idea applies – if you can master this skill, you can write your own ticket and attract all kinds of women.

I will certainly delve into flirting more extensively on future blogs but for now, let’s talk about the basics – what are the keys to effective flirting?

Lasting eye contact – this spikes feelings of attraction for the other person.  The key here is maintaining the contact.  Your intent should be to meet her gaze and hold it longer than usual.  Don’t gaze too long.  There’s a fine line between an alluring gaze and a creepy stare.  As a general rule, a gaze for “3 Mississippi’s” is fine.

Smile – It should be somewhere in the middle.  Too big a smile is over the top while no smile contradicts the purpose of flirting, which is to have fun.  A subtle half-smile or grin works best.  Not sure how to do this?  Slowly lift-up one cheek bone and hold it.  There’s your grin.

Tease her – you want to have some back and forth where you’re teasing and she teases you back. Dr. Nerdlove does a great job of explaining the push-pull dynamic of teasing.  One way to do it is starting with a compliment than pulling it back – “You’re the coolest person I’ve ever met…at this bar”. Teasing is a way of challenging and women find that very attractive.

We are just scratching the surface on flirting.  There are many more components and nuances to this art.

The thing to keep in mind is balance.  You don’t want to make too much eye contact or she’ll think you’re creepy.  You don’t want to tease her too much or it might come across as an insult.

The flirt doesn’t have to last too long.  If you feel it’s starting to slip, just move into regular conversation mode.  Just a little flirt at the beginning is enough to generate early interest.

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