If you’ve been single the last few years and have friends of similar status, you’ve no doubt heard of the term “ghosting”.

If you haven’t, here’s a quick definition – when a person you’ve been dating cuts off all communication with you with no warning.

Recent research indicates women do it more than men – up to 150% more.  But let’s not kid ourselves, men have been ghosting for a long time – way before there was a term for it.

It’s certainly no fun to be ghosted.  Getting no explanation when someone dumps you is hard to accept.  We all want closure.

But here’s the rub – why do you want it?

When I had little interest in a woman, I didn’t care why she blew me off.

For someone I liked?

I had to know why she didn’t like me back.

Why?

I didn’t like having to guess and letting my mind spin out of control trying to figure out why.

I wanted her to put my mind at ease.

Why?

Because without validation from her, I would fall back on the negative beliefs I had about myself – I’m not successful enough, not interesting enough – blah, blah, blah.

What I didn’t realize was, I was looking for her to do something I could do myself.

I could think whatever I wanted.

The fact is, we rarely get to learn the real reasons why people ghost us.

What’s important is what you make ghosting mean.

Usually it’s an opening to affirm some negative belief about yourself.  But it doesn’t have to be.

How do I deal with ghosting today?

I choose to believe the following: She wasn’t interested.  We weren’t a match.  She’s moving on to other people and so am I.

It’s your choice.

You can think whatever you want about yourself after someone ghosts you.

What do you choose to think?

 

Leave a Comment

0