Have you ever dated someone who revealed a lot of very personal information about herself right out of the gate?
Not just personal, but troubling.
If you have, you probably felt a strange twinge in your gut signaling something wasn’t quite right.
For good reason.
What you were experiencing was a boundary violation.
If someone can’t gauge where the relationship is in its evoluation, it’s a clear warning sign of deeper, emotional issues.
While it can be overwhelming to be on the receiving end of very personal disclosures, it’s not the worst part.
What follows is often clingy, stifling behavior on her part.
And even worse, an expectation that you reciprocate with a more serious commitment to the relationship than you might be ready for.
So what’s going on here?
There’s likely some unresolved conflict from her past, making it hard for her to contain her thoughts and her emotions.
It might be a past trauma, some intense family conflict or a history of damaging relationships.
It’s important not to judge her and to bring as much compassion as you can.
But it’s equally as important to evaluate whether you want to be in this type of relationship.
Because those personal disclosures will likely continue.
And the intensity of the relationship will escalate as well.
She might start acting possessively, checking in on you repeatedly and wanting to know where you are at all times.
Or she might expect you to meet her family prematurely or spend increasing amounts of time with her before you’re ready.
These are signs of insecurity and attempts on her part to “lock you down” before you have the chance to recognize her flaws.
She might also be counting on you to restore her trust in people or undo damage done to her by previous partners.
And that’s a heavy load for anyone to carry.
Needless to say, you want to be careful when a woman exhibits these behaviors.
Trust what you’re feeling and if it’s too much, be honest with her.
Tell her things are moving too fast and you need to slow down.
If she can adhere to this, that’s a positive sign.
If she can’t, that means she doesn’t have a lot of control over her behavior and these issues will persist.
You may be left with no choice but to end the relationship.
