For a lot of guys, getting a woman’s phone number is on par with approaching her or asking her out – it becomes an anxiety-provoking moment.  But have no fear, it is something you can overcome.

THE most important thing – keep your mental frame in check.  If you’re making it a big deal in your head, it will become a daunting task.

Most of us believe that getting a woman’s number is validation that she likes us but it’s not.

Ever have a pleasant conversation with a guy at a business event and you both decide to exchange cards?

You might have thought he was nice enough but he may not provide any value or opportunity in terms of your business relationship so you never call him.

Getting a woman’s number is the same thing.

You may not present a reason for her NOT to give you her number but it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s interested in you.

Getting a woman’s number is not the ultimate objective we make it out to be.

Establishing rapport and getting to know her is more important.  Do that and getting her number will be a formality.

Maintaining too much of a focus on getting her number will make you rush through the interaction and, ironically, decreases your chances of her responding when you call.

Part of keeping your mind in check is realizing why you’re rushing to get her number.

For me, I wanted to nail it down quickly in case the conversation dried up or I said something stupid.  This all boiled down to a lack of faith in myself, of not believing she would still like me after a long conversation.

I also failed to realize that if the former happened (conversation dried up), we probably weren’t a good match anyway.  If the latter happened (said something stupid), well, come to think of it, that rarely happens.

Whether you believe it right now or not, there are plenty of women you can be talking to and therefore, getting the phone number of one will not make a huge difference in the relative scheme of your dating life.

If you believe getting that one number will, in fact, make or break your dating life, that’s whole ‘nother matter entirely.  If that’s you, no big deal but I recommend you start working with a coach.

One of the keys to meeting women is approaching the process from a place of abundance – knowing you have a lot to offer and being ok if a woman can’t see it.  If you’re not in that place right now, a coach can help you find it.

When you get to the part of actually asking for her number, don’t make it a big deal.

I like to make it a natural part of the conversation when finishing the interaction, “I’d like to see you again.  Would you like to grab a coffee next week?”

Hopefully she says yes.  After that, you can say “Great.  Why don’t you give me your number and I’ll call you.”

It’s that easy.

When she’s actually giving you her number, pull up the new contact screen on your phone so she can enter it.  That way you’ll get the proper spelling of her name and she may give you her last name as well.

This also eliminates the possibility of you entering her number incorrectly, a distinct possibility in a loud place.

The key to getting a woman’s phone number is not making it bigger than it is.  She will give it over effortlessly if you focus on the connection between you two.

If the connection is not there, the phone number doesn’t matter.

 

 

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