While I usually recommend using your surroundings to open with a woman you don’t know, there may be times when your mind goes blank.  For those moments, here are some go-to openers that will help.

You are so…in my way.

This one comes courtesy of eHarmony.  Keep in mind it’s situational – you’re walking and the woman is coming the other way, right toward you.  You put your hand up to signal her to stop. You maintain a serious expression at first and then say the first part – “You are so”.  She’ll probably expect you to say something like “beautiful” but that’s not where you’re going.   Next, you’ll pause – and this is key.  The pause upends her expectations and she won’t know what you’re going to say next.   You finish with “In my way”.  I recommend a slight head tilt and smile during this part.  If you deliver it right, you’re guaranteed to get a smile and perhaps, a laugh.  Keep in mind, there’s a good chance she will keep on walking, even if she’s amused, so you’ll have to transition to dialogue quickly.

Did you invite all these people? I thought it’d just be us.

This is specific to a public venue like a restaurant or bar.  You’ll want to keep a straight face when you ask the first part.  Then crack a smile for the second part.  Your objective is to keep her off balance by seeming serious at first, then bringing some humor.  This contrast helps her feel multiple emotions, which is exactly what you’re shooting for.

I noticed you staring at me so I thought I’d save you the trouble and come on over.

This is another tongue-in-cheek approach that brings humor right out of the gate.  Most women will respond with “I wasn’t staring at you”.  The variation will be in their facial expressions – some will smile while others will look serious. If it’s the former, she’s probably intrigued.  If it’s the latter, you have a tough cookie on your hands and you’ll have to step it up to hold her interest.  Either way, don’t stop chatting.  Regardless of her expression, there is still some level of interest on her part.  How do you know?  She’s still talking with you isn’t she?


These are quick openers and after you say them, you’ll want to transition to dialogue.  There’s a good chance you’ll get a smile at first but then she’ll politely walk away.  Don’t be discouraged, especially if you can’t jump into dialogue on your first few tries.  Keep at it.  With practice, you’ll feel more natural and the dialogue will come.

  • Dean

    It’s not so much the openers that produce the approach anxiety, it’s the ability to follow up with quick dialogue if a neutral or negative response is given. I find that sometimes women almost want to be a little “hard to get” when you first approach. Almost as if they want you to squirm a little before they’re going to start a dialogue.

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