I have never really had a hard time getting dates or finding a woman to be in a relationship with.

But that has changed in this post-COVID world.

Over the last few months, I’ve been getting ghosted way too frequently and I’d really like to understand why. 

Is it a COVID thing?

Is it a dating app thing?

Is it me?

Listen, it can be any one or all of these factors.  Or it could be something completely different.

But one thought has continued to fester in my mind – “Could it be the women?”

And more specifically, “Are women just way more selective now?”

To find some answers, I did what everyone does when they have a question – I went to Google.

And one of the search results brought me to an article from the Sydney Morning Herald.  It turns out that people in Australia have dating challenges too.

Who knew?

The piece was titled “Swipe left: Why women are becoming increasingly selective

Was I right after all?

According to the writer, Sarah Brookes, yes.

Here are the highlights:

  • Women have greater choices today and know what they want
  • Women aren’t afraid to be on their own – they don’t need men for things like financial support like they used to
  • Young and middle-aged men are the loneliest they’ve been in generations
  • More men are on dating sites than women and men are way more active. This creates more competition among men and greater power for women.
  • Men tend to lack communication and relationship skills, which leads to fewer dating opportunities and longer periods of being single.
  • Women are placing more emphasis on small details about men
  • Divorced men have lost their relationships skills – their wives often cultivated and maintained their friendships.
  • Like men, when women get older, they become more selective because they know who they are and what they want in a partner

Most of these points are not groundbreaking – many are known to be true in the U.S. as well.

But they do affirm the shifting power in relationships.

Men had most of it for generations and now the pendulum is swinging toward women.

The message for me, and any man experiencing dating challenges right now, is not to dwell on the inequity but to be better.

As men, we have to rise to this occasion – to this challenge.

If you’re not a great communicator, you can work on that.

If you’re in an unimpressive job, there’s something you can do about that too.

The key is not to shout at the rain but to be better – to be a better version of yourself.

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