After devoting the last three years to blogging about dating from a guy’s perspective, I thought “Why not take a peak at some dating blogs for women?”

I was curious to see the issues women were working on.  Perhaps they could provide insights for men and make the process of finding the right woman easier?

My first observation?

It’s not easy to find a female coach working with women.  A lot of dating coaches for women are men. 

Next observation?

A lot of the self-proclaimed coaches are not coaches at all.  They’re advice givers and matchmakers.

My search was going to be harder than I thought.

But I found one coach, actually right here in New Jersey, that had some real insights into the dating process and the difficulties women face.

Her name is Melanie Hersch and her website https://www.goodatyou.com/ is certainly worth a read. 

My last observation?

Women are dealing with some of the same stuff we are: insecurity, limiting beliefs, falling for the wrong ones – you name it.

I learned a lot from Melanie’s blog. 

And so can you.

Here are some of her greatest hits.

The Truth About Chemistry

“Here’s the thing about chemistry. 

While it’s FUN as hell….it’s also the greatest trickster in the love department. 

Yes, it’s a mad rush and can feel wildly addictive. 

But when it comes to having a healthy long-term relationship with someone…

Chemistry is not an effective way to measure how compatible you’ll be.

It simply means there’s an intense energy between you two.

That’s IT.

The MORE chemistry you have with someone…the MORE blinded you are to the fact that you’re NOT a good match with that person.”

The Easiest Way to Repel Love: Confessions from a Former Love Addict

“See, there was a time in my life when I was so attached to the idea of finding “the one” that I had inadvertently disempowered myself and sabotaged my chances at actually finding love. I longed for partnership so badly and found myself endlessly confused as to why love just wasn’t working out for me.

Probably the most powerful thing though, that drove my desire for partnership at that time, was a deep lack of inner fulfillment with my own life. 

A lack of purpose…

I found that I wasn’t able to relax and authentically be myself with any of the men that I dated. I was so concerned with making sure that the men I liked would like me back— that I became anxious and calculated.

the truth was, true love could never bloom because I never let any of them get to know the real me. Instead, they got to know the me I was being in order to get love and attention from them. 

And when you’re trying to get something from someone, and you’re deeply attached to the outcome, there’s no room for actual, true connection.

When we face our own fears and insecurities and take the actions necessary to fill our own cups, then we embody an inner confidence that is not only uplifting to us, but extremely vibrant and attractive to others as well.”

Are You a Closet Liar and Excuse Maker?

Whether it’s a ‘white lie’ we tell to not hurt someone’s feelings or a lie we tell to hide something about ourselves… I’m guessing we’ve all had the experience of feeling like we need to hide our truth in order to get what we want. 

the people who like us – who are believing the lies and excuses we tell — are actually liking us for who they think we are — and not who we actually are.

When we lie, it’s an indication that we believe we won’t be loved and accepted for who we are.”

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