One of the more daunting challenges for single men is approaching a woman who is with her friends.  This is more complicated than approaching one woman.  You have to engage the group as a whole before you have any chance to get time with her.

I will talk about transitioning from the group to the woman you want to meet, in another blog.  For now, here are some good openers to get your foot in the door.

Before you get into the opener, remember, you’re “pre-opener” should always be some form of hello (hey, hi, good evening).  It sounds obvious but when you’re out in public and the pressure is on, it’s very easy to skip this step.

Are you ladies causing trouble?

This is especially effective if they’re loud and rowdy but it works just as well if they’re just engaged in conversation.  This is a fun approach but like all openers, your delivery is important.  You want to say it with a combination of suspicion and playfulness.

I know that look.  Are you ladies male bashing?

You can use this approach if it looks like they are in more serious mode.  This approach might bring an element of irony if they are, in fact, talking about men, which, would not be uncommon for a group of women out together.

Which of you ladies gets hit on the most?

Notice a trend here?  The most effective openers are playful and this one is no different.  It also has the added benefit of deflecting some of the attention/pressure away from you as they look to each other before responding.  Each will usually say she gets hit on more creating a playful rivalry between them.  This is particularly effective when it’s just two women.

How’s it going?  We’re out picking up chicks.

This usually gets laughs because you’re poking fun at the obvious, which breaks the tension.  They know you’re out to meet women and you know they’re out to meet guys.  Why not address the obvious in a fun way to bring down everyone’s defenses?  Use of the word “chicks” makes it funnier because it’s cliché way of referring to women men don’t usually say to a woman’s face.

Were you listening to our conversation?

Obviously, best to use this one when a group of women is standing near you.  Whoever you address will say no.  You can follow with something like, “Too bad.  You missed out on something good”.  This will intrigue her and she’ll ask, “What were you talking about?”  From here you can move into an opinion opener – something like “How soon is too soon to get engaged?” Whatever you use, it should be something you know women will have a strong opinion about, increasing your chances of getting a response.

Group openers are definitely more advanced than approaching a woman who is by herself.  The keys are to a make it playful, attention-grabbing and most importantly, engaging enough to supersede the conversation you interrupted.

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