Did you know there is real science behind the act of falling in love?
It’s true. There is a neurobiological process that begins when two people first lay eyes on each other.
When you see someone across the room, your senses are critical – your far visual system, for example, tracks whether the person remains still or moves toward or away from you.
This system works with your amygdala (part of your brain that controls your fight or flight response, and emotions in general) to determine if the person is safe or unsafe, attractive or unattractive and whether you want the person to approach.
When it comes to mate selection, your brain prefers familiarity at first.
Too much unfamiliarity and your brain interprets the person as “danger” and you’ll consequently deem her unattractive.
A large dose of familiarity with a hint of novelty is usually what piques your brain’s interest and leads to attraction.
Once attracted, you move into closer proximity.
Up close, your brain starts the vetting process.
Does this person meet my criteria for a long-term relationship?
Your brain adjusts to the near visual stream – examining her face, then focusing on her mouth, and then her eyes.
The right hemisphere of our brains controls social and emotional perception, so we tend to look at a person’s left eye (the left side of their body is connected to their right hemisphere) for cues about safety.
We fall in love at close proximity, and the eyes play a huge role in igniting that love.
When you gaze into your partner’s eyes, you can look into the deepest part of them, but you can also see the range of their entire nervous system.
You can sense even the subtlest changes of emotion, energy and reality just by gazing into her eyes.
This is why marriage counselors use eye gazing exercises with couples who have lost the spark, the deep love, they once felt for each other.
In fact, it was eye gazing, whether they realized it or not, that led to them falling in love in the first place.
A few minutes of continuous gazing leads to relaxation, a sense of calm, feelings of safety and a “close out the rest of the world” type of engagement with one another.
Not convinced this works?
Check out this video.
If you feel the connection fading with your partner, an eye-gazing exercise can help you both start to appreciate each other again.