How much time do you spend in confusion?

How often do you say “I don’t know”?

If you’re like most people, it’s pretty often.

Confusion does not serve us.

It’s an indulgent emotion.

When you’re confused, you tend to stay in it, indulging it, even though you know it’s not good for you.

“I don’t know if I want to continue dating her.”

This is a common one, right?

Being stuck in confusion is engaging your primitive brain – the part that only makes choices in the present moment, usually from a place of instant gratification.

Decisiveness never comes from this place.

To do that, you need to engage your pre-frontal cortex – the part of the brain responsible for planning.

Being decisive is making decisions ahead of time, planning them and sticking with them.

How does one do that?

First, consider all your options.

Our brains tend to see binary decisions initially – yes or no – but sometimes there’s other choices.

You could stay with her.  You could break up with her.  You could also talk with her about what’s not working.  If you just started dating, you COULD see other women as well.

Next, for each option consider the best and worst-case scenarios.

Usually the worst-case scenario is missing out on the best-case scenario.

Next, imagine being happy after choosing each option.  Can you allow yourself to be right no matter what?

There is no wrong decision.

You make your choice.  You stick with it and as you gather more information, you make another choice.

Next, give yourself a deadline.

Making a decision is quick.  We only think it takes a lot of pondering because we’ve grown accustomed to being in confusion.

Finally, which decision moves you toward who you want to be?

This is where you really get to use your pre-frontal cortex.  You’re looking to your future self and asking, “what do I do now in order to become you years from now?”

The toughest decisions are the ones that scare us most but being fearful is not an excuse to NOT make a decision.

You should be afraid.  That’s how you know you’re on the right track.

Decisions are supposed to make us uncomfortable.

But going through that discomfort, making a decision and sticking to it is what keeps us in action and, ultimately, gives us confidence.

Start making decisions and eliminate “I don’t know” from your vocabulary.

 

 

Leave a Comment

0