No, I’m not going to recommend things like reconnect with your friends or take care of yourself and get enough sleep.

Blah, blah, blah.

There’s plenty of that crap on the internet.

What everyone wants after a break-up is closure – something that makes sense – something that explains why she was happier without you than with you.

But you know what?

We rarely get it.

Break-ups are like espionage – we have to decipher what she tells us during the break-up and that’s hard to do.

Bottom line: she just wasn’t that into you.

So here’s a few tips to help you move on.

Step 1: stop trying to figure out why she ended it.  It will make you nuts and you’ll never really know.

Step 2: ask yourself, “What did I learn?”

Why?

Because we can always be better.

Here’s an example: When I’m angry, I should tell her as soon as possible.  I held a couple of things in and they came out a day later and it was not good.  I let her have it.  The amount of anger I expressed was not commensurate with what she did and that was wrong.

Next: Tell her whatever is on your mind – kind of.

Write her a letter.  Curse her out.  Say whatever you need to say. 

Then fold it up, put it in an envelope and drop it in a drawer.

Final step: start dating again. 

Do NOT let yourself languish, giving up on finding someone.

How long should you give yourself?

Take one day for every month of the relationship.  Mourning is important but don’t overdo it.

There you have it. 

Follow these steps and you’ll be back in the groove in no time.

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