Here’s a few examples of how people describe love:

“She makes me feel important”

“I feel understood”

“He makes me feel safe”

These are fine but they don’t reflect real love.

How do I know?

What happens when you take these things away?  When you take away feeling important, understood or safe?

Let’s assume for a moment your partner stops providing these things.  How do you feel then?

Every relationship changes over time.  As she gets more comfortable with you, her focus will be diverted to other things – career, friends, hobbies.

She may not be able to make you feel important or understood like she used to.

What then?

Usually that’s when the love fades.

Real love is not loving someone when they behave a certain way.

Real love understands contrast, that someone might act like a creep sometimes and you still love them.

You can even love someone when they don’t love you back.

And here’s the kicker –

You’re not loving her so she feels it.

Your love is for you.

Loving someone else feels amazing, for you.

In fact, if you can’t love someone else unconditionally, it will be very hard for you to love yourself.

When you hold it back to protect yourself, you’re the one who loses out.

Having loving thoughts does not come naturally to us.  We have to practice it.

Loving someone else is a skill you can develop.

If you’re in a relationship, practice unconditional love with your partner.  Think random loving thoughts when you wake up together, holding hands while you walk or even better, when she pisses you off.

Remember, the love is for you.

Not in a relationship?

Try practicing loving a friend or family member, unconditionally.

That’s how you’ll get good at loving someone.

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