Last week I described the real reason men cheat.

While most sources reference a varied list of causes, I boiled it down to one:

Inner turmoil created by a negative judgment one makes about himself.

And the cheating is one way we get relief from that turmoil.

In the example from last week, the guy believed the following “My wife is overweight and I’m not attracted to her anymore”. 

Having those thoughts were not the problem.

The problem was that he believed them as fact and repeated them over and over again until they became part of his belief system.

These thoughts were not only negative toward his wife but took a toll on his own self-image.

What did it say about him that he was with someone who was overweight?

But he was making something that wasn’t necessarily true, be something that was a hard and fast fact.

That’s dead-end thinking that usually yields negative results.

Couldn’t he have thought something else?

How about “My wife and I are not having sex as much as we used to.  I need to talk to her.”

Do you think he would have cheated if he repeated these thoughts over and over again?

Like many of the problems we encounter in life, cheating is the result of our mental activity – our thinking.

But we actually get to choose how we think about a situation.

And we can improve our thinking by managing our minds better and considering new thought lines like I suggested above.

You can avoid cheating by building your mental discipline – by sharpening how you think – before taking action.

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