To be clear, this is not about breaking up with someone you’ve been in a relationship with.

This is for those times when you’ve been out on one, two, maybe three dates and you realize she’s not for you.

How do you handle it appropriately?

The best way is to deal with it right then and there. 

You’re saying good night. You tell her it was nice to meet her but you don’t think the two of you are a match.  You wish her well, say good night and turn and walk away.

Easy right?

Not so much.

Most guys don’t do it this way.

They actually do the opposite.

They tell the woman they want to see her again.


To get out of there but more importantly, to avoid the awkwardness and guilt associated with rejection.

But they wind up feeling the guilt anyway because now they’ve compounded the problem by misleading her.

If doing it directly is too hard, you have other options.

You can go with a less direct approach.

You give her a hug (has to be quick and not a close embrace), tell her it was nice to meet her and wish her luck.  Then turn and walk away. 

She’ll know what it all means.

When you wish someone well and don’t state your intention to see them again, they get it.

Still not appealing?

There’s a third way.

You say good night.  Tell her you had a good time and walk away.

When you get home, send her a text and use the same language in the direct approach – it was nice to meet her, the two of you are not a match and wish her well.

Notice, in none of these examples did you give reasons why you’re not interested.

It’s not necessary so early on.

You keep it simple, direct and leave as little room as possible for ambiguity.

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