Wouldn’t the world be a great place if a woman looked at you from across the room, waved you over and said, “I like you”?

It would take a lot of the guesswork out of the attraction game.

You would get very clear signals of a woman’s interest.

But that’s not how it works.  Instead, you have to read her body language, summon the courage to approach and hope you read her right.

Lucky for you, there are generally accepted signs of interest that have been validated through research and can help you decipher this puzzle.

In one study (Moore, 1985), trained observers watched over 200 women in bars and college campuses.  The most effective ways women signaled their interest in a man were by:

  • Looking at him and smiling
  • Maintaining open and relaxed body language
  • Having fun – dancing in place, smiling and looking around

What were these women communicating?

That they were approachable and open and that provided men the “green light” to come over.

But the studies didn’t stop there.  They also evaluated how women flirted once approached, giving men additional signals of interest.

Here are some of those cues:

  • Making steady eye contact
  • Leaning in closer
  • Tilting her head and exposing her neck
  • Laughing
  • Flipping her hair
  • Touching

On this last point – touching – a woman doesn’t necessarily have to touch you to show interest.  Touching an object, like caressing her glass, is another expression of interest.

But there is one final point worth noting from these studies: there was no difference in attractiveness between women who were approached and those who were not. 

In fact, according to one study (Moore & Butler, 1989), an unattractive woman who displayed a lot of solicitation behaviors was MORE likely to be approached by men than an attractive woman who did NOT display those behaviors.

What does that tell us?

That it’s more about a woman’s behavioral cues that lead us to approach.

We like to think we’re in charge, taking control of the situation.

But it’s really the woman who triggers the opportunity.

So it’s up to us to pay attention and pick up on her signs.

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