While men have their own issues when it comes to approaching women, it still helps to understand the woman’s perspective and how THEY want to be approached.

Reddit apparently has done surveys on this topic so what follows comes from those results.

Say hello – our nervousness and desire to say something original lead us to talk too much.  Keep it simple.  Just say hi and introduce yourself.  Few guys do this, so you’ll be a breath of fresh air to most women.

Don’t comment on her appearance – for most attractive women, this is all they hear – catcalls and creepy comments from guys about how beautiful they are.  Commenting on her looks or body makes her feel like a piece of meat so don’t do it.

Smile – women’s natural defenses go up when a stranger approaches.  Your job is to bring those defenses down and one way to do that is with a smile.

Make eye contact – an inability to maintain eye contact is a sign of insecurity.  It’s a “tell” and women pick up on it immediately.  Maintaining eye contact conveys confidence, which is the single-most important quality to convey when approaching a woman.

Show your hands – the first thing women think when a man approaches is “Is he going to hurt me?” and then “How do I escape if that happens”.  The best way to communicate you are not a threat is to have your hands out in the open where she can see them (as opposed to in your pockets or hidden in some way).

Be curious/take an interest in her – we’ve already established that commenting on her appearance is a losing proposition so complimenting her on something else or just noticing something about her – like what she’s wearing or reading – will make her feel special and convey that you noticed her.  Here’s some examples:

            “You have a great sense of style.  Where did you get that from?” 

            “I noticed you were reading The Girl Before.  I’ve seen a lot of women reading it.  What’s             it about?”

            “That’s a great t-shirt.  Did you see Lady Gaga live?”

Notice, three of the six points mentioned above have nothing to do with what you say.

I point this out because most guys are nervous about what they should say. 

The fact is, it’s not what you say but how you carry yourself – your facial expression, your body positioning and your eye contact – that are most important.

All these things convey way more than what is coming out of your mouth.

And women read these queues extremely well, unlike us.

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in our own challenges when it comes to meeting someone.  But keeping in mind what the woman wants can be especially helpful in how we carry ourselves.

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