Raise your hand if you’ve ever said this to a woman.

Okay, I’m picturing a lot of raised hands out there.

This is a common experience for guys that can pop up at any time.

You feel crowded.  You’re feel out of control.  You’re stressed.

Something is wrong, but you don’t know what it is.

What drives a guy to say this?

Sometimes it’s the woman – you’re seeing sides of her you hadn’t seen before and you don’t like it.

Or the relationship is getting more serious and you pressure yourself to decide if this is who you want to be with long-term.

Would you be surprised to learn the top reason guys pull away in a relationship is stress?

And more often than not, the source is not the woman.

Who then?

I’ll give you hint.  Walk into your bathroom.  Step up to the mirror and take a hard look.

The space you need is in your own mind.

Whatever is going on in your life, your relationship, your work – it’s stressing you out to the point where you have to break away.

This is normal.

Here’s the deal – guys don’t have the same tools women do.

When women are overwhelmed they talk to their friends.  They express their feelings.  They cry.

All very constructive.

For men?

It’s way different.

We’re less adept at identifying feelings, talking about them and experiencing them.

We’re problem solvers and when we can’t solve something, we withdraw until we can.

We’ll go out with the guys, play video games or chop some wood.

Needing space is not a problem – it’s just what guys do.

The important thing is knowing why you need the space.

Next time you use the words, “I need some space”, know why you’re using them.

And don’t take any drastic actions (i.e. breaking up) until you do.

Don’t know why right away?

That’s okay.

Keep on choppin’ wood until you have the space to figure it out.

 

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