This is a tough topic.

After some psychotherapy as a young adult and some life coaching of my own, I am a much more confident man today but it is still hard to read the hallmarks of insecurity:

  • Need for validation to feel better
  • Comparing one’s self to others
  • Wanting more power and control

It still hits close to home.

Insecure men believe a false narrative about themselves.

It goes something like this – “I’m not good enough.  Other guys are confident but I’m not.  I’ll never be confident.”

So what’s an insecure guy to do?

How do you overcome it?

For starters, don’t focus on how you became insecure.  That just feeds the false story and puts the emphasis on the person you think caused it – a parent, a sibling, whoever.

It prevents you from taking responsibility for it.

Whoever started it, it yours now.

Next, start focusing on your insecure thoughts and replace them.

It CAN be done.

“I’m not good enough”

“I’m going to run out of things to say”

Do you know where these thoughts will get you?

Feeling not good enough and having nothing to say.

“I can do this”

“I’m important”

Where do you think these will get you?

You can decide right now to start thinking something different about yourself.

You can change your own narrative.

Insecure men look outside themselves for validation.

Stop looking elsewhere for something you can create on your own.

 

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