“People Don’t Fall in Love.  They fall in ditches.”

Dawson McAllister

How’s that for an optimistic quote?  Dumping on love right out of the gate.

Interesting words from McAllister whose HopeLine website dispenses helpful relationship advice. 

For those of us prone to falling hard early, it’s important to remind ourselves that lasting love is conceived over time.

The goosebumps and nervous stomach you get when you’re convinced you just met someone special?

That’s infatuation. 

Not love.

And mistaking the former for the latter usually yields painful results.

When you rush into a relationship too soon you:

  • Make promises you can’t deliver on
  • Say things you don’t mean
  • Don’t allow the relationship to unfold
  • Place unrealistic expectations on the relationship to keep delivering the thrill you’re feeling
  • Buy into the “love at first sight” myth

McCallister notes, “There’s good chemistry at first sight but not love at first sight”. 

That’s an important distinction.

You had a great date with someone?

Awesome.

You feel a strong connection when you’re with her?

Super.

But don’t assume that’s the way it will remain even a month from now. 

And don’t pressure by designating it a “relationship” after a few weeks.  You’re just dating, for now.

Why do we rush into something serious?

Because feeling romantic emotions is awesome.

Adoring someone else and feeling valued in return – these are great feelings to feel.

Who wouldn’t want to keep feeling them?

But be careful.  Those feelings are intoxicating.

And you’ll lose your way if you don’t step back and get perspective.

Bottom line: jumping into a relationship too soon usually comes from a craving to be loved.

But pinning responsibility for delivering that love on someone else will lead to disappointment.

At some point the thrill will fade.

And what will you have?

The love you’ve been missing comes from you.

Direct some of the love you extend to women toward yourself.

Do that and you won’t be as anxious to jump into a relationship again.

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