During a recent call with a prospective client, he revealed he accepts nearly every “like” he receives on dating sites in order to increase his odds of finding someone.

It quickly dawned on me he was short-changing himself – he was so eager to find someone, he wasn’t considering whether he was even interested.

And that was not serving him in the long run.

What he was doing, even though he wasn’t seeing it, was establishing a posture of desperation, which was contributing to his low self-esteem.

Contrary to popular belief, online dating is not a numbers game. 

Positioning yourself to get as many responses as possible, is not the way to find your person.

Highlighting your uniqueness and standing out from the crowd is what signals to your true matches that you’re the guy for them.

The “wide-net” strategy is just going to bounce you around to a lot of undesirable women.

While it may sound counter-intuitive, you should be saying no to at least 5-10 women per week.

What does this demonstrate?

That you’re special.

That you have a ton to offer a woman.

And, even more importantly, you believe the prior two statements.

When it comes to online dating, your belief level needs to match the medium.

Online dating sites are “rough and tumble” environments – rejection abounds along with manipulation and false representations.

You better believe you belong and deserve a special woman in return.

What is your expectation level?

To take whoever you can get?

Or is it to find someone who embodies the things you’ve always wanted in a woman?

If you’re saying yes to just about every woman who reaches out, something is wrong.

You’re taking a bottom-feeder approach that may get you attention in the short-term but won’t deliver the bliss you truly want in the long run.

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