We all know what happens when we assume.

But what happens when we do it in a relationship?

Same result?

“She called me right back.  She must like me.”

“She forgot about our plans for this week.  She’s not interested.”

“She told me about the engagement ring she’d want.  She must want me to ask her.”

Making an assumption is our minds way of answering a question it really wants an answer to but we’re unwilling to ask.

What are the questions for the examples above?

How about, “Does she like me?”

and

“Does she want to marry me?”

Isn’t it interesting that our most pressing questions are posed to the one person who can’t answer them (ourselves)? 

They should be asked to our partner, right?

Instead, the question finds its outlet in a disorienting process of guessing – all so we can try to gain some kind of closure.

So why not ask the woman you’re dating, “Do you like me?”

Why would you rather look for clues in what she says and does?

So why don’t we ask?

Why don’t we ask women we’ve been dating for months if they see a future with us?

Have you thought about it?

There’s a gut feeling not to, right?  If we ask, it makes us feel needy. 

Yet, if we don’t ask, we feel confused.

Neediness-confusion. 

Neediness-confusion.

Which one can I tolerate more?

Usually its confusion.  We’ll do anything not to feel needy, right?

How ‘bout asking yourself this – “Why do I need to know?”

Here’s a reason: “Because I need her validation.”

Interesting.

Want to stop making assumptions?

Start asking better questions – of yourself.

Instead of “Does she like me?”, how ‘bout “Why do I need to know if she likes me?”

You should like your answer.

If you don’t, that’s where your work lies, not in getting to the bottom of whether she likes you or not.

Start asking more “why” questions and I guarantee you, you’ll stop making so many assumptions.

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