Reading cues from a woman and trying to gauge her interest early on can twist even the most experienced dater into knots.

“Does she like me?”

“Does she need some space?”

“Should I call her again?”

Delays by her in returning texts and phone messages lead to self-doubt and indecision.

What follows next is a back and forth of thoughts I like to call “Mental Ping Pong”.  It may sound like a game but it’s no fun at all.

“She likes me” you think after she calls you back and you’re convinced things are going well.

Then, a few days go by and she cancels your date.  “She’s not interested” is where your mind goes.

And back and forth you go – fluctuating between the highs and lows of the dating experience.

But what’s really going on here?

Well, in staying with the ping pong metaphor, you’re taking your eye off the ball.

Your job is to:

  1. Determine if you like her
  2. Decide if you want to see her again
  3. Plan interesting and fun dates

Your job is NOT to:

  1. Monitor her level of interest each day
  2. Try to make her like you
  3. Go through an emotional rollercoaster

Focus on what YOU want.  Be yourself.  And have fun.

If she likes you, you’ll know it.

If you’re spending more time worrying and trying to impress her, chances are you’re compensating for a match that’s just not there.

Move on and put your energy toward someone who responds to you.

Do that and your days of playing mental ping pong will be over!

 

 

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