I have worked with several clients over the years who showed up stuck – stuck in their past.

They were unable to move their lives forward because their focus remained on past mistakes, broken relationships or tragedies they had no control over.

Are you one of these people?

Do you find yourself telling the same stories about yourself?

Are you unable to take on new challenges?

Do you rarely look to the future and imagine where you’ll be?

People who are past-focused subconsciously look for evidence to prove their terrible belief systems. 

Here’s an example:

My girlfriend of 5-years breaks up with me.  I’m devastated.  I start thinking I’m unlovable.  Months later I start going on dates yet I’m skeptical each time.  The whole process doesn’t feel right and I give off bad energy.  Unsurprisingly, I get rejected each time.

I’m locked into the belief that I’m unlovable and I can’t get passed it. 

And my mind tries to find the evidence this is true by undermining each date.  Then each rejection confirms the thought I started with – that I’m unlovable.

That’s how your mind works. 

And if you’re locked-on to the past like this, you’ll never be free.

But there are things you can do to change.

First, start to make peace with your past – look at it as if it were perfect. 

It happened exactly as it was supposed to.

There were no mistakes, just lessons.

There is no reason to fight your past or wish it were different.  Besides, you can’t change it even if you wanted to.

Focusing on it is just a waste of emotional energy.

Once you can start to accept your past, life becomes much easier.

Want a way to start reconciling?

Write a letter to your past self.

Here’s the framework:

Dear _______,

I am angry because…

I am sad because…

I wish…

I am sorry that…

I love you because…

Try it and read the whole thing once you’re finished. 

I promise you it will be a transformative experience.

Love your past for how it shaped you and then say goodbye. 

It’s time to get excited about your future.

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