This subject does not apply to all men but if you found the title intriguing, you’re probably someone who should read on.

For years now I have considered myself a one-woman man but in my 20’s, I had a situation where I was dating three women simultaneously (not seriously, just a couple of dates with each).  While on the phone with one, I made mention of her brother.  Only one problem.

She didn’t have a brother.

I couldn’t keep the facts straight about each of them and ventured into some dangerous territory as a result.

Besides the confusion, I just preferred focusing on one woman because it suited my personality.

I’m an introvert and generally speaking, introverts prefer to focus on one thing at a time.  Too many things going on at once represents over-stimulation and that’s hard for us introverts to handle.

Are you an introvert?

If you prefer to be alone when “recharging your battery”, you are.  If you prefer to be around others, you’re more of an extrovert.

The challenge for introverts is that a “one woman at a time” approach dramatically slows down the process of finding “the right one”.

Like me, this approach might make you feel more comfortable but is it serving you?

Here’s one reason it may not be:

Long stretches of time alone.

I’m not suggesting you should date multiple women for extended periods of time (unless that’s what you want) but if you’re not in a committed relationship, you’re best served by going out with as many women as possible.

Here’s why.

Dating one woman exclusively before you know there’s mutual interest is committing yourself before it’s warranted.

Let’s say you really like a woman.  You went out on a couple of dates.  You’re attracted to her.  You have fun with her.  But at this point, you’re not sure where she stands.

You have nice conversation.  You might even get a good night kiss at the end of the date.  But you’re still not sure if she likes you or if you have enough in common.

You go out a couple more times but you’re still not sure how she feels, or even how YOU feel for that matter.  All this time you’ve been focused just on her.

Then, after your fourth date, you leave her a voicemail, which she doesn’t return.  Next, you text her.  She responds but with short replies.

After another week of chasing her, she sends you a text saying you’re a really nice guy but doesn’t think the two of you are a match.

Sound familiar?

When you date one woman at a time, you drastically limit your options, which is a key part of dating.

There’s one other reason to date multiple women – your mindset.

Dating one woman at a time can lead to a hyper focus on that woman.  This can lead to all sorts of issues – possessiveness, neediness and just overall dependency on her.

If you’re prone to this type anyway, dating one woman at a time will likely exacerbate it.

If you’ve been frustrated by long stretches without a date, your dating strategy could use an upgrade.

Instead of dating one woman at a time, consider dating multiple women and significantly speed up the process of finding the one right for you.

 

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