This is a great technique described by Richard LaRuina in his book “The Natural“.  He shares a ton of great information for men looking to attract women effortlessly.

One of the most effective ways to draw a woman in is through teasing and the Push-Pull Technique accomplishes that.

The “push” is getting friendly with her.  The “pull” is when you move away, figuratively, and break the connection in some way.  You accomplish this by seeming a little disinterested or distracted.

Is this manipulative?

I don’t think so.

You’re being playful so it’s meant to be fun.

You’re also exhibiting high-status behavior; you’re doing something that takes balls and few men do that so it will set you apart.

“Push-pull” has the added benefit of creating an emotional experience for HER.  And just like in sales, creating an emotional experience for someone is a great way to engage and influence them.

“Push” is the easy part.  You converse with her as you normally would – take an interest, ask questions, flirt, maybe even move closer to her (if she’s responding to you).

“Pull” is making blunt comments that show you mean business but they’re also tinged with sarcasm and playfulness so she knows you’re not being mean.

Here are some examples:

  • “You’re like my little bratty sister”.
  • “You’re too young/old for me”.
  • “You ask a lot of questions. Do you want my resume?”
  • “You’re first impression sucked but you’re actually not that bad”.
  • “I saw you trip coming out of the bathroom. Very graceful.”

One disclaimer – the push-pull technique is not designed for the sweet, innocent types.  It’s more effective on sassy, tough girls who like to challenge and poke fun at guys.

For these types of women, the Push-Pull Technique is a way to show her you can dish it out too and she’ll respect you for that.

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