It is so difficult to determine if a woman is interested during the early stages of dating.

You don’t know each other.  You’re feeling each other out.  Signs of interest emerge yet there are also moments of doubt.

Before you know it, you start to feel like you’re engaged in espionage – the subtle cues, the hidden meanings.

Neither of you is showing your cards.

It’s more like spy craft than romance.

But if you pay attention, there are clues that can tell you if she’s lost interest.

Here’s a few:

She prefers to call YOU – you’re trying to make plans and she’s busy.  You offer to call her next week and she counters with, “I’m swamped.  Let me give you a call”.  Not a good sign.

Without prompting, she tells you how busy she is – if someone likes you, they will make time.  Telling you how busy they are is her unconscious mind distancing herself from you so as not to lead you on.

You’re doing all the work – I tell clients it is up to them to plan dates, especially in the early stages but if you’re doing all the work and she expresses little to no opinion about the plans, chances are she’s checked out. 

She doesn’t initiate contact and sends brief responses to your texts – even the most demure women will say they had a good time after a date or reach out to say hello.  If she’s not doing these things, she’s probably not interested.

Never underestimate a woman’s ability to avoid telling you she’s not interested. 

That discomfort is no different from any other negative emotion. 

They will avoid the feeling by avoiding telling you.

That’s why I recommend taking back control, so you don’t have to twist in the wind.

Here’s how: push for a phone call or try to make a date.

If she’s truly not interested, she will make more excuses or delay further.

Or, it might finally be the impetus she needs to break the bad news.

Either way, you’ll have the proof you need. 

Then, it’s up to you to say, “Is everything ok?  You seem less available lately.  Anything you want to tell me?”

It will be difficult for her to avoid the “elephant in the room” at that point.

If, by some chance, she’s IS interested, it will give her the opportunity to tell you. 

If she’s not, well, at least now you’ll know.

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