There are countless studies that suggest it is part of our genetic makeup to need someone to share our lives with.

In fact, throughout our evolution, two people coming together as one unit has proven to provide a greater survival advantage than an individual on his own.

But the interesting thing about our “need to pair” is that once we do, it actually makes us more independent, not less.

Our ability to “step out into the world” and take risks as adults is very similar to what we go through as children.

Just ask any mother who takes her 2-year old to a new place.

What happens?

The child clings.

What happens when mom leaves the room?

Usually there’s a freak out.

As young children, we need a parent figure to serve as our home base, to provide a sense of security that everything is ok.  That’s what enables us to venture out and explore the world.  

But it doesn’t end at childhood.

Our pairing in adulthood gives us similar confidence – to challenge ourselves, to learn new things and solve new problems.

We feel more secure to take risks, be creative and pursue our dreams.

Is it any wonder that study after study show married people live longer, have less depression and fare better across a whole range of health factors?

Pairing up is what we were built to do.

But all this goes down the tubes if we don’t pair with the right person. If they’re not supportive emotionally, it makes it harder to be independent.

Why is all this important?

Because it explains the natural order of things.

Sure, single adults, like myself, can lead happy, productive lives but the research suggests we can reach even greater heights – greater levels of independence and fulfillment – with the continued support of a partner.

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