This week I wanted to write about the different fears women and men experience when a man approaches.

I reasoned that if I could distill down the fears of each into a bucket, I could better understand why these encounters were so hard.

And if I understood that, I could teach it to others.

But what I found was much more serious.

I’m quite familiar with the fear of rejection and fear of being judged that many men experience.

But I was surprised to learn of a woman’s greatest fear:

A man’s anger

Margaret Atwood summed up the differences this way:

“Men are afraid women will laugh at them.

“Women are afraid men will kill them.”

I admit, this is a bit heavy for a blog and I don’t mean to equate how a woman feels walking home alone vs. talking to a guy in a bar.

But it’s important for guys to realize the stakes when they pursue a woman.

We’re so locked into our fear of embarrassment that we don’t realize what women have on the line.

Usually by a woman’s teens, she has learned that you don’t want to make men angry. Ever.

That’s why women will say they have a boyfriend instead of saying they’re not attracted to you.

For many women, male anger is frightening.

Keep that in mind the next time you don’t like how a woman responds to you.