In the ever-evolving world of dating, particularly online dating, new phenomenon surface on a regular basis.

One of those is the “fade”, better known as the “slow fade”.

The slow fade is the ending of a relationship where one passively removes himself from interactions with the woman he’s been dating.

How does one do this?

A number of ways – cancelling plans, not initiating contact, slowing responses to texts, etc. 

Eventually, he ceases all communication entirely.

The relationship ends and he provides no explanation for his disappearance.

Listen, this is not a clean way of executing a breakup.  As a high-character guy, you want to be honest with your date, and yourself.

That means taking on the difficult task of telling your date you’re not interested.  It spares her the uncertainty and angst of wondering where she stands.

But what if the fade was mutual?

What if you’re not feeling it and your sensing she isn’t either?

Is it okay to fade?

I went through that this past week.

We met online, texted a bit, talked by phone and eventually met.  We had a second date and then a third. 

But after that third date, it hit me – the physical chemistry just wasn’t there.

At the end of the date (one of the key times to discern interest or lack thereof) I sensed she wasn’t feeling it either.  She felt distant, at least according to her body language.

We had a courteous exchange, “It was nice to see you again.  Get home safe.”

And that was it.

It wasn’t just goodnight.  It was goodbye.

I thought, “If she texts me, I’ll tell her.”

But she didn’t.

“I guess I don’t have to say anything then, right?”

No one likes to tell someone they’re not interested.

But I try to do the right thing – I know what it’s like to like someone only to be left twisting in the wind.

But that wasn’t this.

It seemed to be a mutual parting.

“I guess I’m off the hook then, right?”

That’s what I told myself.

But I’ll never know for sure. 

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