Having options is good.

Having a lot of options?

Not so much.

That’s essentially the paradox of choice – the pleasure you gain from each prospect diminishes as more choices are presented.


Because you’re worried about making the wrong choice and missing out on something better.

This encapsulates the dilemma of dating apps.

We’re presented with so many options, that it leads to poor decision making.

We use “cognitive shortcuts” and quicker decision-making to deal with the load.

In his book, “The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less”, Barry Schwartz points out that our solution to feeling overwhelmed is to limit our options by creating our own criteria and using that to filter our choices.

The end-result?

We eliminate people who might be good matches for us.

One study cited 20% of adults between the ages of 25-40 using dating apps yet only 5% of them found lasting relationships on them.

How do you combat the paradox of choice?

You view profiles with the intention of adding more choices rather than reducing them.  And spending more time with each one rather than breezing past them.

Here’s a few ideas:

Give her a chance – select someone you would normally reject.  I’ve rarely sought out redheads – not sure why.  Occasionally, on a dating app, I will select one – just to run counter to my own intuition.

Look deeper – it’s easy to get locked into the concrete stuff – where she lives, her looks, her job.  But who is she as a person? What do her hobbies tell you about her?  Does she have pets?  That can signal a caring person.  Take a little time to look deeper into the profiles you read.  You won’t cover as many women, but you may get better results.

Expand your search radius – we tend to establish search settings that create convenience.  For example, I set mine up initially to deliver women within 20 miles.  Convenient, right?  My maximum drive would be about 30 minutes.  But what if I doubled or even tripled it?  It would open up a pool of women I would have never met.

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