Online dating, by far the most common way singles meet today, has created a whole new set of challenges for men – particularly older men who didn’t grow up with social media and apps.

We’re used to in-person interactions – meeting a woman at a party, out with friends at a bar or even at work.

In these settings, we can establish rapport and read non-verbal cues to gauge a woman’s interest.

Not with online dating.

There, we must generate interest with our profile-writing and messaging skills – just to get in the door!

When you finally get to the phone call, you have the opportunity for real engagement.

But even there, you don’t have visuals to guide you, which is why it’s important to be able to discern signs of interest, and non-interest. 

Knowing both will allow you to make course-corrections in real time.


  • She laughs a lot
  • She’s playful
  • She makes fun of you
  • She shares something personal
  • She takes an interest in you – asks you questions
  • She makes a statement about the future with you in it (“when we get together”)
  • She comments on how quickly the call went


  • She multi-tasks
  • She talks with others (family) who walk in the room
  • She doesn’t commit to a date as a next step
  • She makes some reference to how busy she is
  • She seems very serious
  • She prefers to call you next rather than the other way around

Women aren’t going to tell you they’re not interested – you have to read between the lines.

Doing so can save you a ton of frustration as you navigate the “phone-call phase”.

Any one sign from the lists above probably won’t tell you much.

It’s when you observe a cluster, from one side or the other, that you’ll know which way she’s leaning.

If they’re coming from the “non-interest” side, it’s time to turn up the charm.

If you’re not making it past the first call, on a consistent basis, chances are, one or more things are missing:

  • You’re not bringing enough energy
  • You’re too nervous
  • You’re not showing enough interest in her (e.g. asking questions about her)
  • You’re not challenging her (making fun of her, asking follow-up questions, etc.)

If you want to have more phone success, you’ll need to read her cues better and start “bringing it” from your end.

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