When first considering the topic of infidelity, I thought, “Why not write about the reasons guys cheat?”
But to tell you the truth, the reasons out there are extensive and varied – immaturity, insecurity, mid-life crisis, etc.
And frankly, none of these reasons really got to the core issue.
I was looking for a common link yet the research was inconclusive.
But here’s the deal.
Cheating is no different than any other bad decision we make.
It’s often impulsive.
And it’s usually a reaction to something we tell ourselves.
And that something is typically a negative judgment, about ourselves.
Here’s an example – “My wife is overweight and I’m not attracted to her anymore”
This thought is not really about the wife putting on weight.
It’s the meaning behind it.
Cheating in this scenario is more about how the overweight wife reflects on him.
He feels bad about himself when he thinks about his wife’s weight.
The cheating makes him feel better – that he can attract a thinner woman.
Cheating is just another salve for a wound, like drinking.
And he needs that soothing because of the negative thinking he’s inflicting on himself.
How does one not cheat?
Stay tuned for the next blog entry.